Dear Body,
Boo hiss!!
We are not friends today. I hope we'll be friends tomorrow, but I do not like you at all today, and I would be willing to bet the feeling is mutual.
Usually I feel all cute in my workout clothes. Tonight, looking in those dang full-length mirrors, I felt like a cow. And not one of those cute Wisconsin cows on the commercials. Just a cow. With belly jiggle. And arm jiggle. And butt jiggle. You get the jiggley picture.
I'm sick of this bad attitude week. So let's talk about some good things.
We walked 1 mile, twice today, in 13 minutes and 14 minutes. Drank lots of water. Ate a healthy lunch. Went to the gym even though we didn't want to and hubby gave us grief about it.
So those are some good things, right? We've only been on this healthy kick for a couple of weeks. We're allowed to fall off the wagon. We don't have to feel like a woo girl all the time. The point of this journey is to become healthy, both physically and emotionally. We'll get there.
It's still you and me, Body. I'll pull my head out of our collective butt, and hopefully soon.
Here's to a better day tomorrow.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
01.21.2010
Oh, Body.
Sigh.
I know you don't feel as well as you have been. It's amazing how one little long weekend can undo all the hard work we've done. I fed you crap, I didn't give you water, I didn't get you into the gym. And just one of those things starts a vicious cycle that contributes to everything else. Eating crap makes me not feel like going to the gym, which means I don't feel so bad eating crap! When I am going to the gym and walking during the day, I am more careful of what I eat, because I am fully aware of how hard I am working to be healthy. When I don't, I get some kind of subconscious mindset of, "Who cares?"
That attitude is not part of our fabulous 2010, so I am going to get back on track. We Zumba'ed last night, and got back on the walking train today, so hopefully we will both be feeling better soon.
How's about a date for "Have a Ball" class tonight?
Don't give me that. We're going.
You're fab,
Dearie
Sigh.
I know you don't feel as well as you have been. It's amazing how one little long weekend can undo all the hard work we've done. I fed you crap, I didn't give you water, I didn't get you into the gym. And just one of those things starts a vicious cycle that contributes to everything else. Eating crap makes me not feel like going to the gym, which means I don't feel so bad eating crap! When I am going to the gym and walking during the day, I am more careful of what I eat, because I am fully aware of how hard I am working to be healthy. When I don't, I get some kind of subconscious mindset of, "Who cares?"
That attitude is not part of our fabulous 2010, so I am going to get back on track. We Zumba'ed last night, and got back on the walking train today, so hopefully we will both be feeling better soon.
How's about a date for "Have a Ball" class tonight?
Don't give me that. We're going.
You're fab,
Dearie
Friday, January 15, 2010
January 15, 2009
Dear Body,
Obviously, we've been a little busy. We did manage to make it to the gym 3 times, for 3 different classes this week. We went to bootcamp, and our sweet tiny little teacher must have been feeling better, because she nearly killed us. Hurts so good, right? Right. Imagine how sore we'd be if we hadn't gone to yoga the next night. Although it was harder than I thought, it was also more relaxing. Which I needed after racing to get there on time, and changing pants in the car at a stop light. That's how much you mean to me. We also went to our favorite, Zumba. It's amazing how much better you did this week, because I shut up and just let you move. I'm learning that I need to listen to you more, because you know a lot more than I do. You're just so quiet and unassuming that I bully you a lot. I'm working on that.
We've also walked 8 miles this week, just on our breaks at work! It helps with some of the soreness that comes from being so gung-ho with our workouts!
I've been feeding you good food and lots of water, and can feel a difference already. Next up, getting some more sleep. We could both benefit from that!
TGIF, Body!
XOXO,
Dearie
Obviously, we've been a little busy. We did manage to make it to the gym 3 times, for 3 different classes this week. We went to bootcamp, and our sweet tiny little teacher must have been feeling better, because she nearly killed us. Hurts so good, right? Right. Imagine how sore we'd be if we hadn't gone to yoga the next night. Although it was harder than I thought, it was also more relaxing. Which I needed after racing to get there on time, and changing pants in the car at a stop light. That's how much you mean to me. We also went to our favorite, Zumba. It's amazing how much better you did this week, because I shut up and just let you move. I'm learning that I need to listen to you more, because you know a lot more than I do. You're just so quiet and unassuming that I bully you a lot. I'm working on that.
We've also walked 8 miles this week, just on our breaks at work! It helps with some of the soreness that comes from being so gung-ho with our workouts!
I've been feeding you good food and lots of water, and can feel a difference already. Next up, getting some more sleep. We could both benefit from that!
TGIF, Body!
XOXO,
Dearie
January 7, 2010
Dear Body,
Zumba, week two. You did much better this week! The instructor, a firecracker who is hilarious and makes us sweat like a man, even told us we had improved! I tried to let you take charge, and you seemed to know just what to do. Everytime I would start thinking, or telling you what to do, we'd mess up. Hmm, I wonder what that means? :-)
We've also started doing some walking on our breaks at work. A few miles this week, and hopefully more next!
You're the bestest.
Love,
Dearie
Zumba, week two. You did much better this week! The instructor, a firecracker who is hilarious and makes us sweat like a man, even told us we had improved! I tried to let you take charge, and you seemed to know just what to do. Everytime I would start thinking, or telling you what to do, we'd mess up. Hmm, I wonder what that means? :-)
We've also started doing some walking on our breaks at work. A few miles this week, and hopefully more next!
You're the bestest.
Love,
Dearie
January 4, 2010
Dear Body,
It is officially a new decade. This is the decade that you and I make peace. This will be our healthies decade ever. I'm so enjoying this new relationship we are working towards, and this adventure that we are on together.
I let you take several days off after Zumba. Because dang, girl, you must have been shaking what your momma gave you HARD. I could barely get you up and down the stairs for the next several days! But it felt good to have pushed it, didn't it? You're capable and ready to be pushed a little, to stretch and move and do the things you were designed to do.
Tonight was our first night of bootcamp. How can an insturctor so tiny and sweet and precious make us hurt so much? I'm proud of you for completing the whole class. I'm proud of me for not worrying about being laughed at for using 2-pound weights.
It feels better already to be drinking our water and eating healthier foods. I'm amazed that when I listen to you, you will tell me what you need. I'm flaburgasted that you rarely ask for candy and sweets. Occasionally you like a little frozen yogurt, or a small piece of chocolate, but not nearly as often as I was giving it to you. You want more protein and less carbs than I thought, as well. I certainly don't want to deprive you, so whatever you want, we'll have in moderation.
I really am proud of you. Thanks for being so patient and hanging in there with me. You're the best.
Love,
Dearie
It is officially a new decade. This is the decade that you and I make peace. This will be our healthies decade ever. I'm so enjoying this new relationship we are working towards, and this adventure that we are on together.
I let you take several days off after Zumba. Because dang, girl, you must have been shaking what your momma gave you HARD. I could barely get you up and down the stairs for the next several days! But it felt good to have pushed it, didn't it? You're capable and ready to be pushed a little, to stretch and move and do the things you were designed to do.
Tonight was our first night of bootcamp. How can an insturctor so tiny and sweet and precious make us hurt so much? I'm proud of you for completing the whole class. I'm proud of me for not worrying about being laughed at for using 2-pound weights.
It feels better already to be drinking our water and eating healthier foods. I'm amazed that when I listen to you, you will tell me what you need. I'm flaburgasted that you rarely ask for candy and sweets. Occasionally you like a little frozen yogurt, or a small piece of chocolate, but not nearly as often as I was giving it to you. You want more protein and less carbs than I thought, as well. I certainly don't want to deprive you, so whatever you want, we'll have in moderation.
I really am proud of you. Thanks for being so patient and hanging in there with me. You're the best.
Love,
Dearie
December 30, 2009
Dear Body,
So... that Zumba class tonight was pretty darn fun, wasn't it! I'm sorry I was trying to take the lead and not let you just do your thing. Dancing doesn't come from the brain. Especially not Latin dancing. I think it comes entirely from the loins.
A little sore we will be, but that's okay! It was good for me to get out for some much needed me time, and it was good for you to get to shake and sweat and laugh for an hour. It was probably harder for me, because I don't usually go do things that I have never done before at a place I've never been. By myself. I'm proud of us both.
Let me know how you feel tomorrow! We'll work into this physically fit thing slowly but surely.
Go 'head, girl, go 'head, get down.
Dearie
So... that Zumba class tonight was pretty darn fun, wasn't it! I'm sorry I was trying to take the lead and not let you just do your thing. Dancing doesn't come from the brain. Especially not Latin dancing. I think it comes entirely from the loins.
A little sore we will be, but that's okay! It was good for me to get out for some much needed me time, and it was good for you to get to shake and sweat and laugh for an hour. It was probably harder for me, because I don't usually go do things that I have never done before at a place I've never been. By myself. I'm proud of us both.
Let me know how you feel tomorrow! We'll work into this physically fit thing slowly but surely.
Go 'head, girl, go 'head, get down.
Dearie
December 29, 2009 (a little while later)
Okay, Body. Let's come up with a game plan. I've already decided we need to get into a gym, (don't you love how I get to make decisions for US?) but how often do you think? I don't want to set us up for failure, so I think we should aim for 3-4 workouts a week. We'll play it by ear. You may not be able to keep up with my lofty goals at the beginning! Hee hee!
Let's lay off the sauce for awhile, too. What do you say? I never drink too much, or enough to get drunk, and only moderatly enjoy it, so that's an easy place top cut calories. And apparently alcohol isn't all that great for you! I know, right!? Who would've thought!
Speaking of drinking, how about we get back on track with drinking our water. That's easy enough. Plus, it will give us an excuse to get out of the office to fill our cup... and pee!
More veggies, less junk, more lean protein, all that jazz I know but choose to ignore. You deserve the best fuel to run on. We'll feel better, and maybe even drop those extra pounds we've been carrying around. It'll be worth it. We we really miss Ramen noddles and Skittles? I doubt it. Okay, I don't doubt it, but once we get used to it, it be easy. I hope.
That's enough goals for now, Ole Girl. Rest well, enjoy these last few days of hedonism, because we begin kicking tail and taking names come Friday!
LYLAS,
Dearie
Let's lay off the sauce for awhile, too. What do you say? I never drink too much, or enough to get drunk, and only moderatly enjoy it, so that's an easy place top cut calories. And apparently alcohol isn't all that great for you! I know, right!? Who would've thought!
Speaking of drinking, how about we get back on track with drinking our water. That's easy enough. Plus, it will give us an excuse to get out of the office to fill our cup... and pee!
More veggies, less junk, more lean protein, all that jazz I know but choose to ignore. You deserve the best fuel to run on. We'll feel better, and maybe even drop those extra pounds we've been carrying around. It'll be worth it. We we really miss Ramen noddles and Skittles? I doubt it. Okay, I don't doubt it, but once we get used to it, it be easy. I hope.
That's enough goals for now, Ole Girl. Rest well, enjoy these last few days of hedonism, because we begin kicking tail and taking names come Friday!
LYLAS,
Dearie
December 29, 2009
Dear Body,
We've been together for 28 1/4, and for the majority of those years, it has been a bad relationship. I have treated you poorly, I have been too hard on you, and I haven't appreciated everything you do for me. I am truly sorry.
We have accomplished some wonderful things together. We are rarely sick, and never seriously. I've put you in many unwise situations, and somehow you come out on top. We carried a baby for 37 weeks. We breastfed him for a year. We've run and walked races. We've moved furniture, homes, states. You were able to hide on the outside what I was not able to hide on the inside. I have just begun to realize how strong we each are. Imagine how strong we could be if we were on the same team!
We have been through some terrible times together, too, and those are entirely my responsibility. I have starved you. I have purged you. I have told you how ugly and fat and ridiculous you are. I have told other people these things, too. I would never let someone talk about a friend or family member that way. Heck, I wouldn't let someone talk about an acquaintance that way! And yet, I have told you these things everyday for years. And years and years and years. For longer than I can remember, I have told you that you are inadequate.
That stops tonight. Tonight we become friends. Over time, I hope we can become best friends. I know it will not be an easy road. We have developed a very unhealthy relationship, and I will have to consciously make an effort to not belittle you, or expect too much too soon. However, I also cannot expect too little from you. You are capable of great things. You ARE a great thing.
So, Dear Body, here it is. Here is my love letter to you.
You have beautiful freckles. I love in the summer when you are a total freckly face. They are adorable!!
Your collarbone is lovely. I think it may be your best feature. I don't care if no one else every notices it. Know that it is one part of you that is always beautiful.
You have a great butt. Whatever size you are, it it nice!
Your boobs look pretty darn great, especially after having breastfed for 12 1/2 months!
Those tiny stretch marks low on your tummy... They are so slight and so faint. And we should be proud to have those battle scars. Way to go, girl! We gained 40 pounds throughout our pregnancy, and much of that very quickly at the end. Your stomach looks GREAT!
Your hair is pretty, whatever color it is.
Your eyes are beautiful.
You have a great smile, lips, and teeth.
There are many more things to love about you, and I hope to add to this journal as I discover and appreciate them. But I wanted both of us to know how much you already have going for you! If you never lose a pound, you have these qualities.
About that... If you never lose a pound, that's okay, But together, I think we can find a happy, healthy place for both of us. I think we can be a good example for our child. We can feel better physically and emotionally. We can lead a longer, healthier life. Because you know what, Body? We deserve it. We deserve to realize our inner fabulosity, harness it, unleash it, ride it, embrace it. Whatever fabulosity in a girl does (and admit it, we've never known because I've never let you feel fabulous) let's welcome it in!
Dear Body, I love you. I accept you. I forgive you for not living up to my expectations. I ask for your forgiveness in setting them so high. I will work on treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
Because Body, although I have never told you, I have recently realized how fortunate I am to have you. I am thankful for you. I am sorry it has taken me the better part of two decades to realize it.
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are worthy. You are deserving. You are enough.
"To me, you are perfect."
Love,
Dearie
We've been together for 28 1/4, and for the majority of those years, it has been a bad relationship. I have treated you poorly, I have been too hard on you, and I haven't appreciated everything you do for me. I am truly sorry.
We have accomplished some wonderful things together. We are rarely sick, and never seriously. I've put you in many unwise situations, and somehow you come out on top. We carried a baby for 37 weeks. We breastfed him for a year. We've run and walked races. We've moved furniture, homes, states. You were able to hide on the outside what I was not able to hide on the inside. I have just begun to realize how strong we each are. Imagine how strong we could be if we were on the same team!
We have been through some terrible times together, too, and those are entirely my responsibility. I have starved you. I have purged you. I have told you how ugly and fat and ridiculous you are. I have told other people these things, too. I would never let someone talk about a friend or family member that way. Heck, I wouldn't let someone talk about an acquaintance that way! And yet, I have told you these things everyday for years. And years and years and years. For longer than I can remember, I have told you that you are inadequate.
That stops tonight. Tonight we become friends. Over time, I hope we can become best friends. I know it will not be an easy road. We have developed a very unhealthy relationship, and I will have to consciously make an effort to not belittle you, or expect too much too soon. However, I also cannot expect too little from you. You are capable of great things. You ARE a great thing.
So, Dear Body, here it is. Here is my love letter to you.
You have beautiful freckles. I love in the summer when you are a total freckly face. They are adorable!!
Your collarbone is lovely. I think it may be your best feature. I don't care if no one else every notices it. Know that it is one part of you that is always beautiful.
You have a great butt. Whatever size you are, it it nice!
Your boobs look pretty darn great, especially after having breastfed for 12 1/2 months!
Those tiny stretch marks low on your tummy... They are so slight and so faint. And we should be proud to have those battle scars. Way to go, girl! We gained 40 pounds throughout our pregnancy, and much of that very quickly at the end. Your stomach looks GREAT!
Your hair is pretty, whatever color it is.
Your eyes are beautiful.
You have a great smile, lips, and teeth.
There are many more things to love about you, and I hope to add to this journal as I discover and appreciate them. But I wanted both of us to know how much you already have going for you! If you never lose a pound, you have these qualities.
About that... If you never lose a pound, that's okay, But together, I think we can find a happy, healthy place for both of us. I think we can be a good example for our child. We can feel better physically and emotionally. We can lead a longer, healthier life. Because you know what, Body? We deserve it. We deserve to realize our inner fabulosity, harness it, unleash it, ride it, embrace it. Whatever fabulosity in a girl does (and admit it, we've never known because I've never let you feel fabulous) let's welcome it in!
Dear Body, I love you. I accept you. I forgive you for not living up to my expectations. I ask for your forgiveness in setting them so high. I will work on treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
Because Body, although I have never told you, I have recently realized how fortunate I am to have you. I am thankful for you. I am sorry it has taken me the better part of two decades to realize it.
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are worthy. You are deserving. You are enough.
"To me, you are perfect."
Love,
Dearie
Monday, January 4, 2010
Welcome, dear bodies!
I don't know about you, but I have struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. We'll get into the meat and potatoes (mmmm meat and potatoes) of that later. All of a sudden, while pondering my new years resolutions, I had a moment of clarity. It was one of the most profound moments I have ever had. It will sounds simple, stupid even, but I started thinking... What if I made a conscious effort to accept my body exactly as it is? Even more earth-shaking... What if I chose to LOVE my body in it's current form? I would start 2010 out so differently than every other year. Not swearing to get back down to a size 0, but promising myself, my WHOLE self, that I would be healthier. Because I deserve to be happy, and to be healthy.
This blog is to document that journey. I invite you to join me!
This blog is to document that journey. I invite you to join me!
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